What is it like to be a natural blonde?

I was born a natural blonde almost 23 years ago. I always felt different because my mom was the only other person I knew that was blonde. It wasn’t a big deal until I started noticing the stereotypes. Many of my friends thought I was stupid when they met me, and not because of the things I was telling them, but because of my hair color. My teachers asked many times whether I was cheating on exams. It was unbelievable that I, a natural blonde with a bubbly personality would have such high grades. My “friends” were always double-checking if the information I gave them was true. How come a blonde knows so many things?

Everything stopped once I moved to the UK, many more people were blondes, and no one was picking up on my hair color. My exams were all anonymized, and I always felt like that my notes were truly reflecting the effort I put into preparing for exams. Until the other day… I spoke with this person who doesn’t know me very well, who has seen me twice via webcam and gives me advice for my future career. She was pretty shocked when I told her my average mark at uni. Her shock was not dictated by my words, but by my hair color. How come a blonde could ever achieve that grade? I felt a bit like Elle Woods in Legally blonde (and not only because I am a law student).

Many times in the past I felt insecure because people were judging me for my appearance before asking me a question. However, so much time has passed… But hearing it again was such a shock. I thought that by growing up I wouldn’t hear anything like that ever again. I guess the problem is with the people who judge without knowing. After this episode, I immediately thought: “next time I should tie my hair, so my hair color is less clear”. However, if this happens to me because I am blonde, I can only wonder how people with darker skin color or different ethnicity may feel like. Why don’t we listen to what someone is saying rather than only hearing their words? Why I should have more privilege than someone else? Or why should I have less? Why society doesn’t believe in equal treatment?

I grow up in a household where my parents taught me I could be whoever I wanted if I truly believed it. I understand now that it is more difficult than what they told me. I may be whoever I want, but still, I am going to find many people in front of me that will judge me without really listening to me. I am sure that many other children were told the same, and they will have so many more obstacles and prejudices ahead of them only because of their skin color. It is true, you understand your privilege only when something similar (even if much less serious) happens to you.

The take out of my reflection today is: listen more to what other say, look at their actions and never judge them for something that cannot change (and should not change). Believe in them regardless of what society says you to believe.